Santa

I realize it's almost 2 months after Christmas,

but does anyone else find Santa creepy?

To me there's just something very wrong with a fat man coming down my chimney.

Well I don't even have a chimney and it creeps me out.

I don't like strangers in my house.

The whole idea of Santa is absurd anyways.

Santa killed Jesus, didn't he? Well that's just a whole different subject.

And he's just an asshole anyways, because when he puts coal in my stocking that crap gets everywhere. It's nearly impossible to have a clean house after that.

Maybe Santa just creeps me out because when I was growing up my brother told me if I ever saw his face he would come after me with a chainsaw.

And well, to be honest, chainsaws scare me.